The Challenge To Become Even As He Is: Starting With Your Family

In the book Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, one research study explained was of three different groups of young adults:

The first group was from strong, healthy family background experiences. The second group was from an unhealthy family background experiences who did not overcome them. The last group was also from an unhealthy family background who had overcome those experiences.

The study shows that the first group with healthy backgrounds had "the highest quality premarital or marital relationships." (pp. 16-26). The second group had "the lowest romantic relationship quality" (pp. 16-26). The last group results showed "romantic relationship quality scores very similar to those from healthy family backgrounds" (pp. 16-26). 

This research shows that even if family life is a struggle, those who experienced hard backgrounds can overcome, "we can recover and still build strong families" (pp. 16-26). 

I agree with this 100%. We are encouraged over and over again by modern day prophets and scripture to change and "become something" our Heavenly Father wants us to become. The best way to start changing and becoming like God is within our own families.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks, of the quorum of the twelve apostles, challenges us to become. He says, "It is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions. The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become.

"A parable illustrates this understanding. A wealthy father knew that if he were to bestow his wealth upon a child who had not yet developed the needed wisdom and stature, the inheritance would probably be wasted. The father said to his child:

“All that I have I desire to give you—not only my wealth, but also my position and standing among men. That which I have I can easily give you, but that which I am you must obtain for yourself. You will qualify for your inheritance by learning what I have learned and by living as I have lived. I will give you the laws and principles by which I have acquired my wisdom and stature. Follow my example, mastering as I have mastered, and you will become as I am, and all that I have will be yours.

"This parable parallels the pattern of heaven. The gospel of Jesus Christ promises the incomparable inheritance of eternal life, the fulness of the Father, and reveals the laws and principles by which it can be obtained." 

We have been sent here on earth to change and become as our Father in Heaven is. We have been sent to learn from our mistakes, challenges and trials, gain testimony, and learn to love and grow as He is, just as He has taught in the scriptures, "even as I am" (3 Nephi 28:10). 

I encourage each of you to read Elder Dallin H. Oaks' talk about "The Challenge to Become". I personally believe that everyone can change for the better and become the person Heavenly Father has meant for them to become. As I look at my current family life, I can understand how this can apply with my family. I can use this information and share it will my family members, but overall the only person I can change is the only person God has meant for me to change: me. I can only change myself, and it's through my example can I help my family understand what it really means to "become" even as God is.

 I honestly believe that if every family wanted to become stronger personally and as a family, one of the best ways is to encourage each other to be better people by following the Savior's example. He is our greatest exemplar; He is perfect. We are not perfect however, but we can do our best to be like Him by doing as He did. He served his whole life; therefore, we can take His example of service and start serving our family members to help connect our families in love and righteousness.  

Sources: 

The Challenge to Become - Dallin H. Oaks. (n.d.). Retrieved February 11, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2000/10/the-challenge-to-become?lang=eng

Holman, T., & Poulsen, F. (2012). The ABCs of Successful Romantic Relationship Development: Meeting, Dating, and Choosing an Eternal Companion. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives (pp. 16-26). Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University.