Honor Thy Father

 "Honour thy father and thy mother" (Exodus 20:12). 

The Family: A Proclamation to the World says: "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children...The family is ordained of God...By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families..."

"A perspective of fathering that embraces the divine injunction to 'honor thy father' suggests a set of high ideals for men in family life"(pp. 140-150).

President Howard W. Hunter sets standards that define a father's primary responsibility in famliy life, "The teaching and governance of the family must not be left to [a man's] wife alone to society, to school, or even the church"

The book "Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives" states, "To father a child is more than a biological act or fulfillment of a social role. To father a child is to accept a divine calling, a moral stewardship, and a lasting commitment across generations"(pp. 140-150).

President Ezra Taft Benson teaches that a father's calling "is an eternal calling from which [he is] never released." I love that quote so much and I totally agree with what he says. We are all called of God to perform certain callings, many of them being actual set apart callings in the church, but I feel the most important calling is being a parent. 

I think one of the most beautiful blessings we are able to do is to bring Heavenly Father's precious sons and daughters to earth. Procreation is so sacred, and when it's done right it brings a husband and wife closer to each other and to God. As I talk to many people about what it means to them to have a family and to bring God's children to the earth, they say it's so sacred and so beautiful. 

"Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives" states two fundamental realities of men in family life: 

1. Parenting is a work of vital, even eternal, importance to children, families, and communities.
2. Fathers make a fundamental difference in parenting across generations. 

One evening I was talking with my sister and her husband and I asked them to list some things that they individually/together feel as to why the husband is so important in the family.

My brother-in-law said, "Well, first off, we need to think of the question of what makes a dad, a dad?"

He explained what he thought was the most defining characteristic: a dad is a male. (I don't know about you, but it seems that especially in today's society with how 'gender roles' are being mixed around, this is an important piece of information to remember.) Most males are naturally born with leadership capabilities. The typical characteristics are that they have strong bodies generally for their "protecting and providing" duties. Men seem to have a more logical sense of intelligence, which help them in having a job to earn money for their family. Men approach things differently than women do; men are logical, more grounded, and "solid" individuals.

He explains that children need both sides of the spectrum: emotional (speaking of the women) and logical (speaking of the men). 

Fathers aren't just an important example for their sons, but to their daughters as well. A daughter can see in her father the potential of a man. He is her exemplar as to what type of man she should seek for in a husband. 

My brother-in-law continues in explaining that fathers provide: guidance, a home, a good example of rational behavior and understanding of intelligence. Not saying mothers can't do any of these things, but the typical characteristics and roles that have to do with a father's "providing" traits include all of these duties. 

My sister explained to me her perspective as to how important a father is in the home. She gave me some examples of how nowadays there are lots of instances where there are lots of unstable families as a result of no father in the home or the father isn't supportive of the family. 

Kids need a father figure in their lives. My heart goes out to all those families who aren't able to have a father in the home. But guess what? It's not the end of the world if a father isn't able to be in the home. There are friends, neighbors, father "figures" whom our children can look up to in this world. Fathers and "father figures", let's make sure whatever child looks up to you is looking up to someone who will teach them what it means to be a good person. 

What ways can fathers and "father figures" teach children how to be a good person? 

There are many ways to answer this question. First off and foremost I feel one of the best ways to show a child what it means to be a good person is how they treat their wife and/or their mother. When a man treats his sweetheart with respect, that shows the child that they need to respect her as well as other people. Children will look at that and see the good in the world. As they see their exemplar in their life treating someone they love with respect, kindness, and service it motivates them to be a better person. 

Children who see men treating their mothers/women in this world with respect, it's a big wake up call to them. It shows them righteous doings, and lets them think, "I can be respectful too."

Everybody, let's show this world that we can make a difference. Where do we start you may ask? Well, that answer is easy. 

It starts with your family. Those closest to you, those you look up to, as well as everyone else you look up to. Let's bring back the importance of a father in the family, whether it's an actual father in the home or just a father figure. Whatever the circumstance, the role of the father can still thrive!

 

Kids, what can you do about this? Encourage your father figures in your lives to be "the father" in your life. Let him know you appreciate what he does for you and those around him. I guarantee it will make a difference in his life and in yours. :)  

Sources: 

Brotherson, S. (2012). "Honor Thy Father": Key Principles and Practices in Fathering. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives (pp. 140-150). Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University.